It was strange to see Lewis Samuels’ Power Rankings on the revamped ASP website last week. In 2007, Lewis had introduced the Power Ranks on Surfline. Same idea, more or less, as what Derek Hynd started back in the late ‘80s: put a critical eye to the top-ranked pros, write a paragraph or two for each surfer, no holds barred. Samuels' version was just as smart as Derek's and twice as funny; he wielded a sharp enough blade with the Power Rankings, in fact, that Surfline eventually dropped him like a hot piece of coal. The exact sequence of events was never made public, but a skewered pro or two bitched to their sponsors, who in turn rattled cages as Surfline, and that was pretty much that. The good news was, Lewis' getting fired allowed him to give full attention to his spanking-new creation PostSurf, Samuels’ brilliant and deliriously independent blog (and home to his Power Rankings), which became the hottest surf media property throughout its too-brief nine-month run. Surfline continued to do it's own Power Rankings columns during the PostSurf era and after, with a revolving set of authors, all of whom proved that Samuels’ was the one and only master of the form.

Bringing us to last week, and Lewis' Phoenix-like Power Rankings resurrection. The context was jolting. I spent a moment or two imagining the ASP’s decision-making process. “Here’s an idea. Let’s get Samuels to do the Power Rankings on our website!” “What? That’s crazy!” “Crazy good, you mean!” “By God, you’re right. We own pro surfing! Get the little fucker on the horn, pronto!” The wolf was escorted, all expenses paid and with a nice retainer on top, right into the chicken house.

With predictable results. Part One of the Power Rankings went live on the ASP website last Friday. Ham-fisted ASP-written boilerplate intro, and a lot of generic accompanying photos, but Lewis himself was as sparkling and cutting as ever. Three days later the Rankings were gone. As were all related ASP Facebook and Twitter posts. No Part Two, needless to say.

What happened? The story is juicier than Lewis is copping to below, is my guess. Non-disclosure agreements were probably signed. Some money is likely hanging in the balance. Not a lot, but some. Still, Lewis didn't dodge my interview request altogether, credit to him. In any event, I can't be the only one who finds a small but exquisite pleasure in the combination of Lewis' wit and the ASP's gaffes.

It seemed weird that the ASP wanted the Power Rankings in the first place. Were you surprised when they asked?

Yeah, it definitely came out of left field. On one level, it seemed pretty cool that new management was willing to think outside the box, which suggested that I wasn't the only who believes pro surfing thrives on controversy. If everyone is in agreement about everything, there's nothing to talk about. It's no different than politics. On the other hand, I figured almost right away that it was a "be careful what you wish for" type of deal. I've been down this path before, and I've come to realize that many pro surfers are insecure, sensitive creatures. They'll talk shit about the judges all day, but if anyone says anything remotely critical about them, there will be tears and complaining.

What were your first impressions when the Power Rankings posted last week?

I thought it was pretty ironic that it went up on Valentine's Day. I definitely expected a response of some kind from the surfers, and was right about that. But I was surprised that the fan reaction was as positive as it was. I'm used to most of the viewer comments focusing on the negative. I thought a lot of people would assume that I was being heavily edited by the ASP, or that there'd be the usual comments about what a vile, despicable person I am. That wasn't the case, which was great.

How did you discover that the Power Rankings had been pulled? Did ASP give you a heads up, or did you just find out on the street?

Nat Young's mom left a comment on my Instagram account asking why she couldn't find them on the ASP site anymore. Then a Brazilian newspaper emailed me asking for an interview, and I figured "Yup, here we go again." It really struck me as a comical farce. I've heard some rumors about what led to the Power Rankings being pulled, but in all honesty I don't know the real story. The ASP hasn't filled me in yet.

Kind of a deja vu deal with your Surfline experience a few years ago?

I'm in such a different place in my life now then I was back then, and this particular tempest in a teacup doesn't seem worth brooding over. I'd rather spend time with my family and surf with my friends. It's kind of like I re-tested the laws of gravity and re-confirmed that if you drop something, it's gonna fall. No use crying over spilled milk, as I tell my daughter. Clean up the mess and move on. And this whole situation is just so funny and ironic. Maybe not for the ASP, but for everyone else.

LEWIS SAMUELS AND THE POWER RANKINGS FIASCO

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